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Why am I shamed for my disorder?

As someone who has been battling anxiety and depression for more than six years, I can tell you that I am still shamed for my disorder. Why does the word ‘anxiety’ get thrown around so easily? Why does it make headlines when a Bollywood star admits or succumbs to mental illness but then fade away? Shouldn’t the everyday workings of our minds take up more of our everyday discussions? Shouldn’t it be a priority? During this pandemic, “immunity” and “health” became the most Googled words on the internet. But what about anxiety, depression, panic—all the emotions we are all feeling during this uncertain time? Shouldn’t we be as concerned with strengthening our mental health as our physical health?

Mental health isn’t just something to address during a pandemic. In the past six years, I have been accused of using my depression as an excuse to bunk class, to skip attending parties or social events, even ‘laze around’ and avoid cleaning my room or finishing the dishes. None of that is true. I don’t use depression as an excuse. But it is accurate to say that my depression has resulted in my sometimes not wanting to study, not caring about attending class, and wanting to be alone without people asking me if I have figured out my life yet. Mental health disorders have consequences. But in the same way that a person with an injury might feel physical pain that will prevent him or her from walking to school, a mental illness is just as valid.

Mental health disorders stem from chemical imbalances in the brain, but they can be trigged by a number of things around us: family, friends, relationships, food, clothes, images, stories, anyone and anything. I have seen my anxiety and depression come and go, but what is the real difference between my first panic attack and my last? I got better at recognizing my triggers and I got better at understanding how to help myself through them. Sadly, the only constant throughout the ups and downs of a mental disorder is the stigma behind it. Why am I made to feel like I am making a big deal out of a situation because I had a panic attack? Why do some people not understand anxiety? Or mental health for that matter? I know what it feels like when your loved ones tell you that you’re making too a big deal of something, why you do not need to take medication, why you should just practice some yoga and you will be fine, or worst of all, why mental issues do not exist and we should just snap out of it.

Repeated statements like these make me wonder how society has completely neglected the emotional and mental state of the mind. We can discuss the controversy over a young TikTok star’s apparent suicide with no inhibition, but the minute we discover a person within our own family or friend circle is struggling with similar mental health issues, we want to keep it quiet. We sweep it under the rug. We are ashamed or embarrassed. We make excuses. Not acknowledging mental health issues as part of the inevitable reality of our lives in the same way that we perceive physical health issues is harmful and damaging to us all. The sooner we can normalize this, the easier it will become for us to evolve and understand our own emotions as well as those of others.

The stigma behind mental health needs to be addressed. Does it really take a pandemic for us to reflect and take a hard look at ourselves? Will it finally get us to realize that we are all inextricably connected to each other? That the health and wellness of one is linked to the general welfare and well-being of our communities? The next step will be dealing with the after-effects of the pandemic, including large-scale trauma and depression. The loss of jobs, lives, and the uncertainty in the air has added a pressure that does not seem to make the post-pandemic world easier to deal with. Let us prepare ourselves as best as we can. Let’s help each other through this time and into the future. I will say this now and I will continue to say it, do not shame others and do not be ashamed of having a mental health disorder.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and we should be treating it as such.

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