Dear Parents,
Your child is not being lazy, sensitive, overly-emotional, cranky, irritable, sleeping too much/little, eating too much/little, not getting out of bed, moody, sad, anxious, or stressed--they just may be battling their own mind.
I know that it’s frustrating that their focus is not on being productive, cleaning their room, studying for that exam, learning a new skill, or even spending time with friends and family.
But it’s important to understand that their focus is just on surviving through the day. Mental disorders have a way of tiring you out not only emotionally but also physically.
You can try and talk to your child and ask them what’s wrong.
But remember that while your child might feel a thousand things at once, they may not have the words to be able to talk about any of it or express themselves.
Your child might be hurting and not know how to deal with their emotions.
Your child might be scared to tell you how they actually feel in fear that you would not understand or think it’s your fault.
Your child might be suffering from a mental disorder and doesn’t know it, or is too ashamed to talk about it.
So, what can you do to help your beloved child?
If your child can’t figure out what’s wrong, just make sure you tell them you’re here to listen whenever they want to talk. Don’t push them. Hold their hand, give them a hug, and make time for them when they approach you for any reason.
If your child does talk to you, and says they aren’t okay, keep an open mind. If they say they want to speak to a therapist instead, don’t take it personally. Be proud of them for acknowledging their issues. If they bring up medication, don’t be alarmed. Work with them to find a therapist, and go with their recommendation. Don’t shut your child down at a time when they are speaking to you about something that makes them feel intensely vulnerable. We know you have our best interests at heart, but your reactions affect us more than you know.
I understand that this is not easy on you. I understand it may feel like there is something you could have done to change this, but that is not always the case. A mental disorder is not in your control; but how you react and deal with it is. It is not too late to start, to try to understand your child, their disorder, learn more about it, speak to professionals and make an attempt to understand the behaviours you should look out for and the ones you need to help nurture. Not everyone has the same symptoms and reacts differently based on genetic, psychological, and even economic factors. Educate yourself: there are millions of resources you can use—blogs, books, websites, social media channels, websites, NGOs, films, even university courses. The fact that you’re still reading this letter shows that you care. You’re already making the first step.
What we need from you is to provide support, love, understanding, comfort, and a space in which we feel safe.
This disorder is not easy to face alone, even though the battle is one we must fight in our own heads. Try and feel our pain with us, show us your love and support, and help us come out stronger.
Your children need you, please try to understand them. Be patient and kind.
Lots of love,
A child who does not want anyone to feel alone
Comments